The Disruptors l Finance and Lifestyle Blog

I think sharks are fascinating to observe from the safety of your home. They’re stealthy, dangerous and fun. But what about the other dangerous predators that share their name? I'm talking about those notorious loan sharks. Just like a shark hunting down its prey, a loan shark looks for the most vulnerable victims in our community and send them down an unending pit of debt and despair.

One woman shared with Fin24 how she had borrowed R6,000.00 from a loan shark to pay for her father’s funeral. She was unemployed, did not have any savings, or a funeral policy, to give her father a dignified funeral She knew a traditional lender wouldn’t help her, so she approached a loan shark.

She gave her ID as collateral, which is common practice in these situations, as is handing over pension cards, bank cards, and cellphones. The Mashonisa, urged the woman to sign documents she didn’t read. Within a few days she had the money to pay for the funeral.

She discovered later, however, that she had signed over her house. In fear of losing her home, and under threat of her loved ones being harmed, she ended up eventually paying ten times what she owed.

There are stories after stories like these in the country. In China, I read that loan sharks force young women to send nude photos as collateral. 😓

With the challenges of our economic climate are bringing them out in full force. Sadly, those who can’t tap into help from friends or relatives are invariably forced to enter into ruinously disadvantageous agreements with loan sharks. These loans are often advertised as a quick fix for your financial troubles and promise to help in the short-term, but they only cause you major stress when it comes to long-term financial well-being.

They may seem helpful, but borrowing from them is never a good idea – even if your credit rating is low or you only need a small amount to tide you over for a month or two.

The government has been trying to crack down on loan sharking. According to the National Credit Regulator (NCR) there were 24.78 million credit-active consumers at the end of June 2017. Close to 10 million of these people had impaired records and could be considered over- indebted.

What will that item finally cost you?

If you are buying furniture and other items in monthly instalments, you will pay much more for that item than you would if you first saved up the sum you need, before buying it.
You pay FAR MORE in interest than you would through any legal borrowing.
You may be THREATENED if you get behind with your repayments. You may even become the victim of violence. You are often BULLIED into borrowing more money to repay one debt with another.
No matter how desperate you think things are, taking a loan with one of these criminals will only make things worse.

There are many risks attached to borrowing from a loan shark. The following are signs that you are dealing with a loan shark and that you should RUN AWAY:

• Illegal lenders usually provide little or no paperwork, such as a contract or a record of repayments. This allows them to cheat.

• They might increase the debt or add additional amounts to it without your permission… and if you have no record, you can’t prove a thing.

• They often refuse to give information, such as the INTEREST RATE or how much you still owe. That way, they get to make the rules up as they go along.

• They may take essential items as security, such as passports, bank cards or your driver’s licence. Obviously, not a great idea!

If you are struggling with debt that is making your consider loan sharks as a option, there are alternatives for borrowing money or overcoming your debt.Turning to family, friends, guaranteed loans, etc, can all be alternatives. The are also companies that offer debt counselling. For more information, visit the Debt Counselling South Africa site or call 081 862 4093.

If worst comes to worst and you really need a loan, always go to an authorised Financial Services Provider, such as your bank. You can try various institutions to compare interest rates and repayment periods. You may still have to repay the loan at a high interest rate, but at least you’ll be protected by the Consumer Credit Act.

It is important to be aware of these tricks and traps before getting a payday loan or an online loan.

Financial rules are great, but they’re don't work without resourcefulness. In order to live a resourceful life, you must begin seeing every problem as an opportunity that you can take advantage of.

Growing up, I learned frugality and resourcefulness as a way of life. I remember when I was a kid and how I could spend a whole afternoon playing with things that were not store bought toys. Making dolls out of sta soft bottles or making drums out of turned over pots or pretending to be a lawyer by wearing my mom's clothes. As a child I used things I already had. My play was more creative and imaginative. And I loved every minute of it.

Resourceful people look for opportunity in everything they come across. My mom and many other women in my community knew how to stretch the minimum wages they got or the little food we had to create yummy, tasty meals, always. his illustrates the point of resourcefulness.

In the adult world it works the same way. When we stretch the resources we currently have; time, money, relationships, we are more creative, more prosperous, and more fulfilled. These resources can, of course, be internal, coming from within yourself, or external, coming from your surrounding environment.

There are two ways to resources; chasing and stretching. When you chase, you tire yourself out going after more, more, more. When you stretch, you use the resources you already have available. Once you stop chasing and start stretching, you are better able to solve problems which means you are more fully engaged in your endeavors.

When we keep chasing things just to keep up with those around us, we feel unfulfilled even when we manage to acquire those things because they weren’t the things we personally wanted.

I also need to emphasis that stretching doesn't mean making yourself be miserable in order to meet your financial goals. There are plenty of opportunities that I had to drop along the way as they were mind numbing and draining. I learned that the hard way but still I learned.

"The human mind is our fundamental resource." – John F. Kennedy

When you think of a woman who’s extremely resourceful, what come to mind? Do you think of someone who’s wealthy and well-connected? Or do you imagine someone who’s creative, intelligent, tenacious and determined?

I once watched two separate TED talks. On one of the shows an artist used hamburger grease to paint a picture of Mona Lisa. On the other one a DJ played a set using fruits and vegetables. What if you don’t need art supplies to create art? What if you don’t need instruments to create music? What if you don’t need anything but a will in order to create whatever it is that you want? The saying: “When there is a will, there is a way” has never rung truer in my ears.

Most of us go into a situation already thinking that we will fail because we either do not have the resources we believe we need or the time available.

“Do it badly: do it, slowly: do it, fearfully: do it any way you have to, but do it.”- Steve Chandler.

When have you ever heard a success story that started with: she grew up in a well-off family that supported her fully and put down the initial R2 million investment needed and yet somehow she miraculously was able to overcome the odds and come out on top? It’s the “she beat all odds” stories that make up the amazing stories we repeat to others. It’s these stories that motivate us and give us hope that encourages us to action. These are not fairy tales, they are real life stories of women who had actual limitations and still managed to take over their worlds.

And these stories are of women who faced actual limitations, who grew up poor or handicapped in some form. There are women out there who couldn’t were raised in severe poverty and had nothing, but still managed to turn themselves into millionaires. If these women made it and overcame the odds, then what's holding you back?

Being resourceful means achieving your goals by doing more with less. It means going beyond your natural skills and making the most of the resources you currently have at your disposal in order to solve the problem at hand.

There are things you need to keep in mind about being resourceful:

Being resourceful means reaching out to others by leveraging your network of contacts (friends, colleagues, and associates) to help you enhance make the most of your circumstances.
A resourceful woman takes advice and finds a way for it to fit her own situation. If the advice doesn’t apply, she moves on and finds another way.
Unfortunately, it’s easier to get stuck on what doesn’t work and throw out the baby with the bathwater. A more resourceful woman focuses more on what she can do and less on what she can't do.
Resourceful women are able to see things through to the end, and for that, you will need to allocate your time most effectively by focusing on the right things in the right way and at the right time.
Being resourceful requires courage, passion, commitment, persistence, determination, tenaciousness and versatility to effectively solve your life’s problems.

If you are a parent, give your children the opportunity to be resourceful by putting them in positions where they’ll need to use it. Plus, it will teach them how to make, spend and invest their resources wisely.

Whatever you may believe your limitations to be, the chances are they can be overcome by simple action. Resources come and go. Resourcefulness is always available because it’s in us. The only question is how far we have to dig to get at it.

How resourceful are you? How do you keep your tanks full so you can be resourceful when you need to?

Even though I pay attention to my money, I still slip up from time to time. I think we can all agree that we spend a lot of our money on things that are not only unnecessary, but unsatisfying too.

For example, if you have been planning to buy yourself a house, you keep spending money on decor stuff to spruce up your existing rental to make it feel more like your own and have no money left for your house fund. Or you’re trying to set money aside for an emergency fund and you already have a few hundred rands in your savings account. Then, you go to the mall to buy groceries with a list and you end up buying two pairs of shoes and a couple of kitchen gadgets you have absolutely no need for.

It's always the little things that you are doing – on a regular basis, often without even thinking about them, that sabotages your efforts every single time. Think about it. You don't become obese over night. It's the daily habits that eventually get you there. Same with money. You might not be an excessive spender but continuing to spend on things that don't serve you or your purpose, will eventually harm your dreams, finances, health, development and overall life.

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But why do we act in a way that is contrary to our own self-interest? And what can be done about it?

Psychotherapist and author Pat Pearson is the author in her book, identified something which she calls the “Deserve Level”. She explains that "self-sabotage is how we regulate ourselves to make sure that we stay within our self-chosen boundaries. In other words, your Deserve Level creates a ceiling beyond which you won’t allow yourself to go."

Basically we are so afraid to address the things that need to be changed, or under the impression that things will somehow work out if we just keep working harder. The truth is that without effort and making deliberate changes, you will not change your financial situation. Learn if you are sabotaging your own finances and the ways that you can stop. Below I share some thoughts to start your process of creating new and better personal habits, habits that serve you and not enslave you.

Figure Your Out

As I understand it, the first step in Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 step programme is admitting that you have a problem. Actually, that applies to every challenge and problem we face. By taking a good, hard look at yourself, you can begin to notice how you act in ways that are counter-productive to the achievement of your financial goals.

Recommendation: Start taking notes. For a month or so, carry a notebook around, and start keeping track of everything you do – and then look for examples of self-sabotage, and look for patterns. Get clear about when you’re spending unconsciously, when you’re opting for immediate gratification, when you’re having to say ‘no’ to something you want to have/do because you don’t have enough money for it.

Note: In the end, it’s your choices and your actions that will determine where you end up. Stop playing the victim and take back control of your life.

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What Really Matters To You?

What's important to you? What exactly is, or was, the life you had hoped to live? Although it feels so easy to know what we want when we're young, our dreams-and how realistic they are-get less and less clear the older we become and the more experience we gain. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves in perpetual cycles of mundane existence, going through the same motions. We somehow lose sight of the things that once brought us such unadulterated joy-that we didn't realise mattered so much until they're gone.

Recommendation: Explore your emotions. Your emotions won't just help you understand yourself but they will also tell you about what really matters to you. Each single emotion that you experience can let you know more about the things that matter to you in life and the things that don't really count.

For example, when you are checking out social media, what kind of emotional response do you experience? If you got jealous and feel bad about your life then you got emotionally affected by it.

Note: Each and every single minute you will experience hundreds of emotional changes and each one of them can let you know about one or more things that truly matter to you.

What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?

Adam Smith, known as the father of modern economics, once said, "All money is a matter of belief."

What you tell yourself about what has happened to you, and what you’ve done, creates your self-image, or how you think of yourself. Those stories in your head may be getting in your way and holding you back.

Recommendation: Take some time and think about an important goal you’ve set for yourself. What thoughts pop into your head when you think about your goal? Do you feel euphoria or you are feeling defeated before you start? Whatever the feeling, you’ve identified your beliefs. If your beliefs are negative then you need to replace those negative beliefs with positive, empowering beliefs. According to the Mayo Clinic, you can start this process by following one simple rule: "Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else."

Note: If you’re blaming your present circumstances on your past, you’re not giving yourself the power to create new circumstances in the future. The power of your inner language is powerfully amazing.

Are Your Financial Goals Aligned With Your Priorities?

Do your spending habits and priorities reflect the life you desire? Are you investing in the life you want? I know, these are not necessarily easy questions to answer. But they are necessary in helping you to figure out your purpose. If you don’t have clear reasons on why you’d likely give up. Knowing who you are and what you want can help set you in the right direction, and the earlier you start thinking about your life, the easier it is to make the appropriate decisions and plans to reach it.

Recommendation: So how can you make sure that you focus your attention on what truly matters to you? The first step is to think about what makes your life worth living. I suggest that you alone or if you are a couple, first take the time to define what you both value. Determine what you want to accomplish in the short and long term. Be brutally honest. What do you enjoy most about your life? What do you want to do more of? Think about your current situation and your goals, and how those align with your life and family. Pay attention to those feelings and thoughts that work with your natural rhythm, not against it. Then write them down and write how they make you feel secure, happy or fulfilled. Once you've identified your most important values, be honest to admit whether or not you are currently living true to those values or not.

Don’t spend too much time looking at what others have, and don’t spend a lot of time judging others’ financial choices.

Note: Whatever you identify and claim for yourself will become the basis for aligning your life and financial goals. When you are spending is aligned with your value means, you eliminate extraneous expenses or what you don't value and the process of managing money becomes less of a chore and more of a natural fit with your way of life.

In closing, you are capable of so much more than you know and in order to get there, you have to stop being your worst enemy. Spend money on things that add value to your life and your relationships. Doing this will ensure that you use money as a tool to achieve your goals, and enhance your overall well being.

Being a single mother means taking on so much more responsibility, and often carrying the world on your shoulders. Statistics reveal that one in two moms are single, and of these, only 12% of the fathers are regular contributors to their children’s financial wellbeing. This is according to the 2016 Old Mutual Savings and Investment Monitor which involved over one thousand urban professionals.

John Manyike, Head of Financial Education at Old Mutual says single parenting is a growing reality worldwide. “Our study revealed that not only is every second mom single, but that there is a 33% probability that she is also supporting one, or both, of her parents. Furthermore, the survey showed that the poorer the household in terms of income, the higher the likelihood of single motherhood”.

Unfortunately, single mothers are faced with double the work, stress, tears and financial difficulties. “Especially during the current tough and uncertain economy, the word difficult becomes an understatement. However, this is the time where planning is absolutely crucial. Making sure you are prepared - emotionally, physically and mentally - is key to your peace-of-mind,” Manyike says.

Never leaving anything to the last minute, always thinking ahead and planning accordingly will assist and guide single moms through various storms that they are presented with in their lives. “It is essential to start at the beginning and think about every milestone that will present itself in your child’s life. These include school fees, uniforms, stationery, extra-mural activities, extra lessons, daycare, matric dance, university tuition and the list goes on. Without becoming overwhelmed, set a reasonable plan in place and assign an estimated budget to cover these expenses that you will need to save toward. By doing this, the challenge of being a single mom and being financially stable becomes more achievable,” says Manyike.

Although raising a child as a single parent has its challenges, Old Mutual financial education has a few tips to assist single mothers to cope with raising our future leaders:

1. For new mothers, the minute your pregnancy is confirmed, start putting money away into a savings account. Take into account your potential medical expenses as some medical aids don’t give 100% maternal benefits. You can start with as little as R200 per month - the important thing is to start, and to start today.

2. If you have a new family member on the way, Consider nappies and baby gear, a caretaker for when you return to work, nursery school for when your baby is older, and eventually school. Take a step back and consider the potential expenses that are likely, and be better prepared for what is to come.

3. Charge down your debts to limit your financial obligations when you are on maternity leave or speak to your creditors to arrange lesser monthly installments so that you can cope during this period

4. Contact a financial adviser and start the conversation around saving for your children’s education. School fees, unfortunately, increase every year and saving long before the time comes will give you peace of mind.

5. Compile a comprehensive financial plan and live by this plan. We all know that things happen and circumstances change but notify your financial adviser of any financial changes. This will ensure that changes are implemented into your financial plan and allowances are made where necessary. More importantly, stay committed to it - no matter what happens!

6. We all want the best education for our children and often our first choice in schools are far from our homes. Prepare yourself for the rising transport costs and school fees. An alternative to this is to rather look for schools closer to you or move closer to the school to cut the transportation costs.

7. Keep saving. No matter what, don’t stop saving. Be committed to your long term goals such as a university degree for your child. Become emotionally attached to seeing your child getting a degree – and that vision for the future will fuel your commitment to saving your money, especially in those months when it is tough to do so. Many government schools offer school fee exemptions to parents who cannot afford to pay their full school fees monthly. Speak to your school principal and make use of this service to ease your burden a little.

8. Don’t put yourself under pressure by trying to “keep up with the Kardashians, the Khumalo’s, or the Karims.” Dress your children according to what you can afford and don’t open clothing store accounts if you cannot afford to pay the total monthly fee. It is good advice that if you cannot buy it cash, then you shouldn’t buy it at all.

9. Prioritise! Shop at cheaper stores, change to cheaper brands, compare prices, pull back on holidays, DSTV and other luxuries. This is the time to go with what you need not what you want.

10. Learn to say NO! Children can push you into buying things just to keep up with their friends or the latest fashion trends. It is much wiser to teach your children about budgeting, pocket money and financial restraints, than to give in to their demands for new things. If there is a pair of takkies they are desperate for, sit down with them and work out a financial plan to save the money. Once the money is saved, and the takkies are bought you can be sure your child will have a much higher appreciation for that item.

“Raising children is already a huge responsibility and challenge, and being a single mother brings another dimension to this. Planning, prioritising and managing your financial situation is the first step to financial well-being, and giving your children the best you can give them. This Mother’s Day we celebrate all the sacrifices that our mothers and lady guardians have made to give us the best life that they could afford,” concludes Manyike.

If you have noticed, women who have their financial ducks in a row are committed to their financial goals. They pay their bills on time, pay off their debt and have a way of not overspending on unnecessary things. Basically they keep a budget or to do list.

If you would like to win like they do you have to commit to improving your financial so that you can take better care of yourself. Commitment to your financial goals takes an effort. It is a habit you can adopt, practice and master.

That’s what I did. I started learning about personal finance by listening to financial news and reading books and learning from others who have succeeded in this journey. I was tired of operating from a place of survival. I wanted to flourish and win in my finances. Years of commitment are finally paying off. There are many things that I am confident about when it comes to money. This wouldn’t have happened if I didn't intentionally commit to learning.

If your ultimate goal is to prosper, here are 5 things rich women do that every woman should follow.. Their habits serves as a guide to copy them in the best possible way that can lead you to your own future wealth.

They set goals for themselves

Folorunso Alakija is a business tycoon involved in the fashion, oil and printing industries. According to Forbes rich lists she is worth $1.73 billion, making her the second richest woman in Africa. Before she became rich she had many doors closed on her face, but she didn't give up. Whenever she shares her story, she tells people she "went back to do a lot more homework. At the end of the research, I decided to not give up.” Alakija says,"it’s essential to draw up a “thing to do” lists on a daily basis and set priorities in executing them, making sure that any unfinished task get posted to the next day’s list.”

Dreams and goals are not the same thing. A dream is something intangible that you hope for while a goal is something solid that you plan for and strive to achieve. Regardless of how or where you choose to invest your money, the most crucial aspects of investing are to first define your dreams for the future. Then set investment goals that can help make those dreams come true. Start by making a list of your short and long-term goals. Be as specific as possible. Then invest consistently over the long term in those goals.

They are generous
Melinda Gates is a former Microsoft exec and the co-chair of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. In her philanthropic work, Melinda has worked with her husband Bill to establish one of the largest philanthropic organisations in the world. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation donate hundreds of millions to causes like global health and education. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation donate hundreds of millions to causes like global health and education. In fact, the less good you do, the less likely your success will last. Melinda also believes that "f you are successful, it is because somewhere, sometime, someone gave you a life or an idea that started you in the right direction. Remember also you are indebted to life until you help some less fortunate person, just as you were helped."

They take risks
A lot of rich people are risk takers. They became successful in life because they were willing to roll with the punches of life and learn their lessons quickly along the way. Beyoncé dropped her surprise, self-titled album in 2013 without any prior promotion and we all quickly had a favourite song from that album, “Drunk in Love.”Harvard Business School even did a case study on the subject! The album went big. Beyoncé admitted that she was terrified but she still went ahead and did it.
Risk is the chance that you could lose some or all of your investments. Making the decision to invest also means you choose sensibly and you need to establish how much risk you’re comfortable with. As a rule of thumb, the more time you have to achieve your financial goals, the more risk you can tolerate. As Suze Orman says, "stop waiting for the perfect opportunity. Even if you consistently have horrible timing, history suggests that you'll come out ahead in the long run."

They diversify
An effective way to help manage risk is diversification or spreading your investments around instead of investing in only one thing. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Sheila Johnson, a businesswoman, is the co-founder of BET, CEO of Salamander Hotels and Resorts and the first African-American woman to attain a net worth of at least one billion dollars. In addition, Johnson is a partner in ProJet Aviation, a company specializing in aviation consulting, aircraft acquisitions, management, and charter services based in Winchester, VA. And she is a partner in Mistral, a maker of a fine bath, body and home products. She is also the owner of three professional sports teams. She said, "you have to diversify to grow. Once you've explored all of your options, you have to know when to let go. And she is a partner in Mistral, a maker of a fine bath, body and home products. One of the prime reasons for diversifying your portfolio is that you can minimize the risks by spreading them out. So that one bad day on the market doesn’t affect your entire financial future. If you are struggling, ask your financial advisor to assist you create a roadmap for you.

They know when to ask for help

"You cannot do this alone. You're not supposed to do it alone. You have to get into the habit forever and ever of asking for help.Asking for help is always a sign of strength" - Michelle Obama, former first lady of America.

According to a report by Fidelity, women are more likely to seek information and advice from a qualified and knowledgeable financial advisers (53% of women against 44% of men). Of course, being smart and humble enough to ask for help is one of the best ways to get out of difficult financial situations. If you are struggling to ask for help, start thinking of yourself as a financial asset and invest in yourself. See a financial professional as an educator to assist you chooses investments that are suited to your specific needs.

By taking an active role in managing your finances — and looking at ways to maximize your income — you’ll ensure a brighter financial future for you and your family. And when things don’t work out? Don’t blame or criticise others, and don’t justify yourself. Just learn from it, keep on pushin’ ahead, and do better next time.

Even if you’re happy to part ways with your partner, divorce sucks. Divorce is not only costly in the short-run, but it can have a long-term financial impact if you're not careful. Focus on the fundamentals to stay on track.

With any divorce often comes emotionally-charged negotiations and the inevitable splitting of assets. From a financial perspective, it can be hard to remain objective and advocate clearly for yourself under such stressful and upsetting circumstances. Yet, what is decided in a divorce settlement lays the foundation for the new chapter you will begin after everything is said and done, signed, and filed.

During a divorce, you’ll be faced with many decisions that may affect your financial security.

Too often women underestimate just how complex these issues can be and how important it is to make the right choices. Your best plan of action is to be informed, take your time, think practically instead of emotionally, and consider the future when getting your divorce finances all in a line.

Settle out of court.

Use a mediator if at all possible. It requires talking with your ex and coming to an agreement on the terms of the divorce. Mediation is typically less stressful and less expensive than a divorce trial, and it usually proceeds much faster. This is called an uncontested divorce.

During a mediation, you and your spouse have the final say over your divorce matters, mediation also allows couples to maintain the power and control in their divorce, as opposed to asking a judge to decide. A mediator is a neutral lawyer who specialises in family law and will negotiate the best, flexible and most viable option for both parties.

Failing to Stand Up For Yourself

Money is one of the last taboo topics in our country. Going through a divorce means you’re going to be talking about money a lot. Sometimes, when you feel overwhelmed during proceedings or negotiations, it can be easy to fall back and not speak up for what’s in your best interest.

This is a huge mistake!

Don’t “go with the flow” if the conversations aren’t in your favor/best interest, or if they’re not taking your wellbeing (or the wellbeing of your kids) into account. Now is the time to get vocal about what you need. If you’re uncertain how to navigate these conversations, your lawyer can help.

Budget carefully and honestly

Doing some hands-on budget cash flow analysis will give you a sense of control over your finances. So before your divorce, find out how much cash you have on hand, in savings, invested and tied up in equity. Don’t forget to account for recurring expenses that you once split with your partner. Pay attention to big-ticket expenses like health insurance, cars, school fees and others. Gather all of the paperwork you have, and make copies.

Cancel joint accounts.

If you haven’t already, cancel and close all joint accounts with your ex-spouse. Joint accounts that remain open are liabilities that could come back to haunt you. The last thing you need is to be on the hook after your ex-spouse runs up charges on credit cards or overdrafts a bank account. Close these accounts immediately. If you currently have a balance on the account that cannot be paid off (for example a credit card), instruct the card that you want to suspend the account and not allow any future charges. Confirm that the account cannot be re-opened or unsuspended. Even with a verbal agreement to pay don't keep the joint accounts because if your partner ghosts you, you’ll be left to pay the balance.

Create A Plan

Getting a thorough and accurate understanding of what you’re entitled to requires going through all of your assets — line by line.

Do some soul searching to identify two or three key financial matters to help focus negotiations. For example, do you want the children’s school fees paid for by your spouse? Do you want the family home? To make the best of a bad situation, come to the table with a clear idea of the things that are most valuable to you.

Remember, you probably won't come out of this with everything you hope to keep, so prioritise what's most important to you, be fair about it, and choose your battles selectively. Accept that your standard of living is likely to change. While you won't necessarily be starting from scratch, you will be starting over.

Ensure Your Income Will Continue

It’s easy to feel secure in your alimony or monthly child support payments, especially if your divorce is amicable. However, life happens - even after divorce. If you are receiving child or spousal support, be sure there is disability insurance and you own a life insurance policy on your soon-to-be-ex spouse. These policies would ensure that the income you need continues if your ex is disabled or dies.

Consider whether you should keep the family home or move.

Keeping up a home on a single-income could set you up for financial hardship even if you feel there are short-term benefits such as maintaining stability for kids or yourself. You may want to downsize now in order to be able to save more for any unanticipated expenses that could come up because of the separation or divorce and being a single income household. Keep in mind, a home comes with an outstanding mortgage payment (most likely), as well as all the ongoing costs to maintain the home like taxes, insurances, and anything that requires fixing.

Have a detailed separation agreement.

Include as much information as you can about future considerations and situations that may come up in your separation agreement. Have a plan for each item to avoid having to go back to court or spending money on more legal fees.

So last weekend my friend and I decided to rewatch Sex and the City again. She has all the episodes. We rewatched the series from beginning to end. When I sat down to watch the episodes all in a row, I began to understand why the show was such a game changer. Yes there are things about the show that I find problematic. And to be fair, this new perspective on the show comes with age.

I know many of us still think that the show revolved around the girls glamorous lives and constant shopping in New York. But when I watched it again, I realised that the main character, Carrie, was her financially overextended life in the heart of Manhattan. I also realised how they were talking about money in a way that most of us as women can relate to.

In one of the episodes, Carrie was taking a break from the pressures of trying to come up with a down payment to buy her apartment by doing what she does best, shoe shopping with her friend Miranda.

"Where did all my money go? I know I made some."

Holding up a pair of Manalo Blahnik shoes, Miranda replies, "At four hundred bucks a pop how many of these do you have? Fifty? One hundred?"
"Would that be wrong?"
"One hundred times four hundred, that's your down payment/'Miranda replies.
"Well, that's only ... four thousand."
"No, that's forty thousand/' corrects Miranda.
"I spent forty thousand dollars on shoes and have no place to live!"

Depsite being really savvy, Carrie was a financial disaster. She once famously said, “ I like my money right where I can see it—hanging in my closet.” This worked just fine until her wedding is called off and she finds herself, in her late thirties, homeless in the city.

Wow!

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Yes it's a tough market and many of us are overwhelmed by the current financial climate. But I would like to believe that whatever financial challenges you have is NOT because of your addiction to frivolous things like shoes, expensive coffee or even trying to keep up with the Kumalos.

That would be really sad.

So what am I saying to you today? Rarely anything happens without an action plan in life. It is like the Chinese Proverb that says, “Even when opportunity knocks, a man must still get off his seat and open the door.” So your financial security is definitely not going to happen without your attention. After all, you don't want to share Carrie's fate, who at the end of the Sex and the City scene lamented, "I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes."

P.S. If you are going to watch or rewatch the show again I hope you learn a different way to look at income, saving, money, and investing.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

HELLO, THERE!

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